How Can You Become
The Positive Partner
Your Soul Mate Wants?

Note: This page is about having a positive partner. If you did not reach this page from the "All About Soul Mates" page, please read that first. Click on: Return to All About Soul Mates.

Ideally, your soul mate will be a very positive person. Positive people love being around other positive people. If you've been a somewhat negative person, or have bouts of negativity, it's time to change.

You become more positive by deciding that's what you want for yourself, your partner and your marriage. This page will outline how to become more positive.

Learn to be a positive partner

Learning to be a positive partner can be done alone or as a team with your partner. Agree on a phrase that each of you is comfortable with (getting the agreement is important). For example, you might agree on using this phrase: "Can you find something you like about it?"

Then, if you say, "This soup is terrible," your partner might say "Can you find something you like about it?" and you'll respond with something positive, like, "I like the beans; they're really tasty."

If your partner says, "That guy is a jerk." You might say, "Is there anything you like about him?" and your partner might respond, "He's a really great family man."

The goal is to learn to recognize negative, critical or judging statements, and immediately turn positive by finding something good to say about the topic.

My mother went by the motto, "If you can't find something good to say, don't say anything at all."

What if my Partner is Already a Positive Partner?

If your spouse is already a very positive partner, you may be doing this practice by yourself, while your partner works to become more appreciative, or to have happy memories.

That just means you'll be working on being more positive without someone else to cue you.

So, you cue yourself. At first, you spend 5 minutes a day looking back on the past 24 hours, thinking of things you said that were negative.

As you remember moments of negativity, replay each one in your mind, and after each display of negativity, ask yourself, "Was there anything I liked about it?" This will cause you to examine the thing, person or event that triggered your negative statement.

In your early practice, you'll be pairing a positive statement with each negative statement you can remember saying.

Then, all of a sudden, you'll find yourself catching yourself making a negative comment, and you'll quickly follow it with something positive. When that happens, you're halfway to becoming a positive partner.

You are a fully positive partner when you can catch a negative thought before you say something, and turn it into a positive statement. Voila! With practices of 5 minutes a day, you can turn a lifetime habit of negativity into being the positive partner your soul mate wants.

And, you'll be a much more agreeable partner in a happy marriage that lasts.

The Power Of Positive Thinking

Some benefits of being a positive partner are clearly stated in this excerpt from information provided by the MayoClinic.com web site.

Agnes can name 10 things she "really hates." But, Agnes isn't passionate about those things. She is, however, really passionate about many things ... especially cooking.

Agnes can talk about cooking for hours. She collects recipes. She watches the cooking channel. She "loves" cooking. She is totally positive about it.

The more passionate you become about one thing, the more passionate you could be about many things.

When you are a positive partner, — who can find something good in almost everything — you'll like many, many things, and dislike very few.

A Positive Partner Will Be Surrounded By Positive People

If you've been a somewhat negative person, it's likely you're surrounded by people who are negative. You have negative friends, coworkers, and even family members.

When you decide to become a positive partner, you'll find the people around you become more positive as well. Some of the people in your life will be more positive when they are around you.

Positive people lift the spirits of those around them

Your truly negative friends and coworkers will fade into the background, and you'll find they'll be replaced by positive people who are attracted to your positivity.

Positivity and Optimism Work Together

You may have noticed the link between positivity and optimism. They are the same thing, in different time frames:

• Optimism is positivity expressed through thoughts about the future.
• Positivity is being positive about something in the present or near past.

When we get to happy memories, you'll notice that happy memories are positivity in the past.

Being a Positive Partner is the Basis of a Happy Marriage that Lasts

Everything we're about on this web site is defining what it takes to have a happy marriage that lasts. There is no other trait more important than becoming a positive partner.

You can still be negative at work, if you want. You can still be negative about your golf game, or when your team loses. But, if you want to be married to your soul mate — and have a happy marriage that lasts — you must learn and practice being a positive partner.

The next attribute of an ideal soul mate is Being Appreciative

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