Marriage Jokes are Funny.
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| My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food ... she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. |
| Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. |
| "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? |
| By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. |
| Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. |
| My spouse and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. |
| I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. |
| We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. |
| A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late. |
| Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. |
| My spouse and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. |
| Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. |
| It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener. |
| Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. |
| Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house. |
| Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. |
| They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. |
Marriage Jokes and Quotes that can Inspire
Not everything said about marriage is negative. To better prepare you for discovering the secret to a happy marriage that lasts, we've included some wise and inspirational quotes as well.
| A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers. (Ruth Bell Graham) |
| It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer) |
| Marriage is one long conversation, checkered with disputes. (Robert Louis Stevenson) |
| The first duty of love is to listen. (Paul Tillich) |
| Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years. (Simone Signoret) |
| For a marriage to have any chance, every day at least six things should go unsaid. (Unknown) |
| The development of a really good marriage is not a natural process. It is an achievement. (David and Vera Mace) |
| People think they have to find their soulmate to have a good marriage. You're not going to "find" your soulmate. Anyone you meet already has soulmates. Their mother. Their father. Their lifelong friends. You get married, and after 20 years of loving, bearing and raising children, meeting challenges - then you'll have "created" your soulmate. (Diane Sollee from "Smart Marriages") |
| I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you. (Zig Ziglar) |
And last, my favorite of the marriage jokes:
| It is necessary but insufficient to stay married for the children's sake. It is also necessary to stay happily married for the children's sake. I'm so glad someone noticed that marriage doesn't have to make you miserable. It is just so easy to be happy I don't understand why it isn't more popular. (Frank Pittman) |
Finally, it's time to get to the point
Now, you're relaxed, you've had a laugh or two, you've been inspired a little, and you're ready for the secret formula for how to keep a happy marriage that lasts.
Continue with the next page in the series
"Secrets to Love and Marriage: How to Keep a Happy Marriage"
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