How do you
keep romance alive?

You're fighting a tough battle, if you try to keep romance alive. It's normal and natural for romance to fade as the years go by in your marriage.

The good news is that it can be done. If you and your partner both want to keep romance as the magical spice for your marriage, you can do it. Millions before you have done it. You can, too.

Keep romance in your marriage by understanding how it will change.

The things you do to keep romance alive change over time as your relationship matures. Before the wedding, romance is an extention of courting. Dining, moonlight, music, romantic settings, flowers for no reason, phone calls to hear your voice. All of these things and much more are part of the courting process, products of attraction and maybe infatuation.

Romance after a few years of marriage may be holding hands when you take a walk. Or, sitting quietly together as you read, and from time to time reading excerpts to each other.

As long as you understand how romance matures with time, you won't have expectations of a lifetime of dancing, candlelight, and love songs.

Stop it! You Grumpy Old Cynic

Okay, some people can keep the romance alive. Some people can even keep up the dancing, candle light, and love songs. It just takes work. If you both decide it's worth it, we can help.

Why does it take work to keep romance alive?

Romance after marriage is no longer driven by genes and hormones. So, you have to substitute commitment and effort. The easiest way to do that is to make it a habit.

Doris and Bill have had a weekly lunch date for nearly 50 years. It's a deeply ingrained habit.

Stan and Norma go out to dinner, then to a play or opera, or to a lecture at least once a month. They've been doing it for many, many years. They are committed to it. They've made it a habit.

You and your partner could decide to do something you both enjoy. Make a habit of it, and each time you do it, you will both know that this is the spice of romance that you've added to your marriage.

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