What is The Happy Marriage Recipe?

The happy marriage recipe almost sounds too easy.

1. First, make friends with your partner.
2. Then, maintain a positivity ratio of 5 to 1 or higher.
3. Next, you handle irresolvable issues with grace and humor.
4. And then, make sure you begin and end resolvable issue discussions on a positive note.

1. Make Friends With Your Partner

The Happy Marriage Recipe calls for you to be respectful toward your partner, and make friends with your partner.

You may have started out as lovers, and not necessarily friends. Some people would argue that you are spouses, not friends.

The Happy Marriage Recipe calls for you to make friends with your partner. We'll show you how. Click on: Become friends with your partner

2. The happy marriage recipe calls for a Positivity Ratio of 5 to 1

The happy marriage recipe calls for 5 times as many positive messages as negative ones. This means that in all the little interactions with your partner, you give at least 5 positive messages for each negative message. And, the messages need to be the same weight.

We'll show you the weights, and how the experts keep score. For example, you'll discover you need to give your partner at least 5 messages of validation or affection, to make up for one message of contempt. Learn more: Positivity Ratio

3. Handle Irresolvable Issues With Grace and Humor

The happy marriage recipe says you have to handle irresolvable issues with grace and humor.

Estimates vary, but experts believe that between 70% and 90% of the fights that married couples have, are about issues that are irresolvable. Irresolvable issues are those that are never going to change. Fighting won't help anything. The issue will not change or go away.

To do this, first, couples need to identify the issues that are irresolvable. Then, they agree to never, ever fight about any of those issues. That takes care of the damage that constant unproductive fighting does.

To turn a bad thing into a good thing, the couple will grow to treat the issue, when it arises, with humor and grace. Humor and demonstrating respect and grace, are all positive messages. So, a fight you avoided turns instead into messages that add to your love bundle. Click on: Irresolvable issues

4. Begin and End other issue discussions on a positive note

The happy marriage recipe says that you must begin and end discussions about resolvable issues, on a positive note.

A positive note means a positive, respectful manner. If you aren't in that mood, defer your 'issue' discussion until you are. Prepare and practice loving, respectful ways to begin and end any marital issue discussions. This will make them positive experiences that add to your love bundle. This will be true even if the discussion produces some compromise on what you wanted, or what was wanted of you. Click on: Begin and End Positively

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Make friends with your partner

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